


Not for Me

by VioletTeaTime



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Asexual Yagami Light, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, One-Sided Amane Misa/Yagami Light, Pre-Slash, Set during the period they were handcuffed, Sex Repulsion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24709144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletTeaTime/pseuds/VioletTeaTime
Summary: Light has become more and more wary of spending any time with Misa. Ryuzaki wants to know why.
Relationships: Amane Misa/Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 173





	Not for Me

**Author's Note:**

> howdy! if youre someone who follows me on tumblr, you know about my dn obsession but,,, if not,, hello!  
> i'm not 100% sure if I'm asexual so,,, i apologize for any discrepancies in how light's identity is portrayed!!

Light was pretending to be asleep. Ryuzaki was sure of it. His breathing had changed an hour ago and remained that way, and while Light was unaware of it, he clicked his tongue often in his sleep, something he had not done in quite some time. Ryuzaki didn't know why Light was faking rest, Light would know that Ryuzaki would know. He always did. Ryuzaki shifted his feet on the chair, sighing. He hadn't caught any suspicious behavior on his surveillance tapes in weeks, and it was starting to eat at him.

Curled up on the futon beside his chair, Light's breathing changed once more, which made his heart skip for a second. Light was getting up. Light wanted to talk.

Ryuzaki didn't know when he went from suspecting Light to being certain that Light was Kira to respecting Light to enjoying being around Light. It was truly a strange chain of events, one Ryuzaki regretted. He knew it was in poor taste to be friends with a serial killer, but he couldn't prove that he truly was a serial killer yet so... no harm, no foul.

Light pulled himself into a sitting position, his eyes already finding their way to the side of Ryuzaki's face. 

"Hello, Light. I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, it's fine. I've been up for a while." Ryuzaki looked down at him, admiring how Light's hair fluffed around his face.

"I'm aware, I had assumed you were trying to get back to sleep." He passed Light the cup of water he had left for himself, and the other man took it gratefully. 

"I wanted to, it's just... Never mind."

"No, do tell me. It could be important to the case." Light shook his head, looking down.

"No, it's not. It's personal."

"Light, while we are chained together, we are one person. If this is bothering you, it is sure to bother me."

Ryuzaki paused where he was in reviewing the tapes from the previous day, looking at Light. The man was steadfastly avoiding eye contact, something he never did. Light always made eye contact, despite him knowing that Ryuzaki was rather uncomfortable with it.

"Do you want me to come down there to sit with you?" His chair was raised above the futon in the hopes that his constant tapping on the keyboard wouldn't keep Light up when he needed to rest. Light nodded, and L rose from the chair, sinking down onto the cushion.

"It's about Misa. We're supposed to have a date tomorrow."

"I know, I have to be there." 

"I mean... I don't like having to do this. I told you that I don't like her, I don't know why you're making me egg her on like this." Ryuzaki watched Light's features for a moment.

"You know she'll listen to you, it is imperative to the case that we keep Amane happy and willing to work with us, as she was almost definitely the second Kira. However, you know that, you would never jeopardize the investigation. What is this really about, Light?" Ryuzaki put his hand on Light's shoulder, which he hoped was a supportive gesture. Light nodded.

"You're right. She... has been very persistent about some... things in our relationship lately, and I don't want to deal with that."

"You mean sex." Light's face flushed bright red as Ryuzaki spoke, and he sputtered for a moment. Light was such a calm and cool collected guy that the reaction surprised Ryuzaki. 

"R-Ryuzaki! You shouldn't just say it like that!"

"What? Sex? That's what she wants, isn't it?" He reached up to grab the box of cookies he had been working through, offering one to Light. He took it, looking down at the chocolate chips like they may attack him.

"Yeah but... I don't... I'm not going to..."

"I will be within a meter at all times, I doubt even Amane is that shameless."

"It's not just that though..." Light bit into the cookie, thinking his next words out. Ryuzaki sat still. "She's been sexting me. Texts at first, but lately she's been sending photos and..." Light put the cookie down on the top of the box. His broken sentence hung in the air, his shoulders shaking with nervous energy. 

"Do you want me to have someone on the task force remove her phone? I can get Matsuda to tell her it's for purposes pertaining to her job." Light paused for a moment before shaking his head no.

"She'll just be worse in person then." His voice was weaker than Ryuzaki had heard it.

"Light? If something is really bothering you, please do tell me. I want to help."

"Sex isn't something that... I don't want it. I don't like it, and I don't like her and I don't know what to do." Light looked down at his hands, staring intently into the creases of his palms.

"Oh?"

"I think I'm asexual. But I didn't tell anyone, not even dad. It's just what I am. And I don't want to tell her because everyone will know." Ryuzaki shifted closer to Light.

"And what is so wrong about everyone knowing? There's no shame in that." Light looked up at him, eyes red with unshed tears.

"Yes there is! The others will think I'm broken, or that I'm just a virgin who isn't ready. My dad will think I'm a failure for never being able to give him a grandson. Misa... I don't even know what Misa would do. Probably Tweet about it and then all of Japan would know that Light Yagami is a freak." Without thinking, Ryuzaki took Light's face between his hands.

"You are not a freak for not feeling sexual attraction. That is not your doing, and even if it was, there would be no issue with that." He dropped his hands, seeing the surprise in Light's face. "However, you are a freak for being a serial killer."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm _not_ Kira."

"Hmm... Until I believe you." He let himself grin at Light, who gave a weak one back. "You don't need to feel as though you must come out. Watari is the only person that I came out to."

"You're asexual?"

"No. I'm gay, but typically don't feel romantic feelings for anyone. I would rather be alone and unbothered by someone's ignorance than with a complete idiot." Light snorted, leaning back against the pillows again.

"So people are just too stupid for you?"

"Not all people." Ryuzaki reached up and pulled the cord on the lamp, darkening the room slightly.

"What are you doing?" Light's voice had raised a pitch, and Ryuzaki sighed, stretching himself out across the bottom of the futon.

"I'm already down here. I might as well sleep here. Unless you'd rather I don't." Light shook his head, throwing part of his blanket over Ryuzaki's feet.

"No, you're fine."

"In the morning, we will find some way to get Amane off of your back. But for now..." He made a soft sound, rolling over into the bed. Light rested beside him, his warmth enveloping them both. Just to make sure Light wasn't faking it, Ryuzaki listened to his breathing, letting him doze off. And when he was certain Light was gone, he joined him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! if you liked it, please leave a kudo and a comment below!  
> find me on tumblr - @violetteatime  
> 


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